The Boss has got back to me. Grab a brew, sit back and chill out. Might be a bit more than fifteen minutes but with Robbo it's always worth it 
1) Name?
Pete ‘Robbo’ Robinson
2) Age?
I’m waaay too old to be answering a question like that, the only clue I will offer up is that my birth certificate was written on papyrus.
3) Where do you live?
South-East London, Kent borders.
4) What do you shoot?
I’ve retired from playing a long time ago but I spent most of my pro career playing with an Automag …. It was a marker that turned out to be a monster for the guy who designed, manufactured and sold it - his name is Tom Kaye – the reason I described it as being Tom’s monster was because he tried to make other guns after the Automag but could never better it …
It was almost a perfect marker not least because it possessed so few moving parts, genius !!!
5) Occupation?
Part-time layabout, part-time tutor and full-time owner of this forum.
6) When/how did you get into paintball?
I first went with my brother in 87 and then the following week with a couple of guys from my old boxing club …. Those two visits cemented my addiction for our sport.
7) What was your first marker?
A Splatmaster – it was a plastic ten-shot heap of crap that could shoot about 50 feet with a tail-wind. I’m not saying it was inaccurate but you’d have more chance of hitting your target using a catapult firing a banana –still, it was unadulterated fun.
8) How often do you use p8ntballer?
Well, it depends really !!
I’ll pop in most days to have a nose around but sometimes I’ll get my inbox bombed with an email from Dusty saying something like, ‘Pete, are you near your laptop, get on-line quick, you’ll never believe what’s happened’.
And so, on those occasions, I’ll be on p8ntballer about twenty times a day ….
9) What first brought you to P8ntballer.com?
As most of you will already know, I used to work for one of paintball’s greatest magazines as one of itseditors, PGi.
When the internet came along in the 90s, the magazine sought to create an on-line presence and that was this forum.
All of us who were working on the magazine at the time were made moderators for obvious reasons.
And so, to answer the question, working on PGi brought me to P8ntballer.com
10) What keeps you here?
Actually, that’s a good question because sometimes I’m not really sure.
Obviously, my first reason would be that I have bills to pay - going on from that, it’s pretty hard to disentangle myself from paintball even though I’m not on the front line of our sport as a player or team coach anymore.
One of the up-lifting things about p8ntballer is the way our community has handled some tragic events over the years where players have passed away, or their partners have.
Our p8ntballer.com community has shown its true colours when events like those just mentioned have befallen us … we’ve held several appeals that have raised a lot of money for some of our members and provides us all with a new perspective on our sport and how we all perceive it.
We’re a special community … leastwise I think we are.
11) Have you met many people from this forum?
Oh my, loads of people – a lot of the guys are friends of mine anyways but it’s always nice when someone comes up and says’ Hi Robbo, I’m ‘such and such’ from the forum’ which puts a face to their forum name and avatar … I also prepare to duck quickly just in case I’ve pissed them off sometime …. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened but you never know
12) What is your dream gun set-up?
I know the modern markers are technically superior and fire a gazillion balls a second but essentially, you got a gun in your hand, you aim the damn thing and you pull the trigger … if you’re good, it hits what you aimed at … and with that in mind, I’d use an Automag with one of those new fandangled loaders you have now ….
13) What is the worst gun you’ve ever owned?
It was called, appropriately enough, The Nightmare, it couldn’t have had a more fitting name.
14) What’s your favourite thread or post?
There have been hundreds and hundreds of threads to choose from in the last 15 years or so but contrary to what some people might suggest, I don’t favour the posts/threads when it all kicks off though I do acknowledge they tend to be the most popular.
News sells, bad news sells even more …
I suppose if pressed to choose one then it would have to be the thread entitled, ‘The Rise and Fool of UK Paintball’ within the host thread, ‘The History of UK Paintball’….
And for that, I have to thank Dusty and Buddha3 because they persuaded/encouraged me to write it.
It’s an extremely personal account and maybe some people would have preferred to have a broader perspective of our history and it was this point where Dusty and Buddha encouraged me to focus upon my personal experience as against a more general account. For good or bad, it’s been up a long time and provoked thousands of views which I suppose is the acid test for anything posted up here.
As an aside to that, the thread that was supposed to be my final chapter of The History of UK paintball was entitled, ‘Opus FinaleA Warts an' all Exposé of Paintball's Very Own Megalomaniac’.
That thread broke new ground in terms of forum traffic.
Whatever people might think about the subject of that thread, it attracted the largest viewer figures I’ve ever seen in our sport.
It now sits at over 411,000 views displayed in the views’ column of the thread’s title after 18 months or so - It’s rewritten what paintball forums can generate in terms of interest/traffic , un ‘frikkin’ believable, leastwise to me, it was.This thread will get the nod from me because regardless of how anyone felt about the thread’s subject, nobody could deny those viewing figures and so from my point of view, it was very important for players and our industry to see p8ntballer.com as by far the biggest paintball forum in Europe.
I don’t think that any other thread in the world [inc PbNation] has generated anywhere near the traffic of ‘Opus Finale ….’
I’m not sure the thread’s success was because people like seeing the occasional train wreck, or people wanting to see some form of justice levied, or maybe some were just out and out curious – whatever the reason, I’m grateful it was our forum that hosted the drama and was able to crunch those sort of numbers.
15) If P8ntballer.com was yours for a day, what would you change?
Er,. I already own it, and so if I ever want to change anything then I just go to my mods and ask for their opinions on what’s best to do in terms of improving the site.
16) Explain your Nickname?
Robbo has been my nickname since I’ve been involved in paintball but it became synonymous when I started writing for the magazine, PGi in 1990 and so I was known as ‘Robbo’ more for editorial purposes I suppose.
17) Tourney, magfed, or woods/scenario ?
It’d have to be tourney I’m afraid – playing paintball in the woods as a rec player is a game, playing tournaments is a sport.
18) Who are your favourite mods?
Jeepers, what am I supposed to say here?
I like all of my mods, I know some of them a lot more than others but if they weren’t good guys, they wouldn’t be mods on this forum.
If you press me to choose then it’d have to be Dusty, Buddha and Bon because those are the guys I turn to for advice or help, I trust them and their counsel, 100% …
19) Who would be your dream karaoke partner and what is the song?
I think I’d have to select barnett because the song would drown out his screams as I punched his face in … as for the song title?
Erm….. it’d have to be a loud track and so FreeBird by Lynyrd Skynyrd would definitely drown out those screams.
20) You’re in the final of Who wants to be a millionaire’, who on P8ntballer is your phone a friend?
Definitely Jay, Buddha3, that man knows fuhkin shed-loads ..
21) Take this opportunity to clear up one misconception about yourself?
I don’t eat babies …
22) You’ve been asked into the Big Brother House and you can take five forum members, who and why?
Hmmn, that’s a difficult one …… er … Missy Q because he’s one of a few people on P8ntballer who makes me laugh – in all of the fifteen years or so this forum has been going, I can only really remember about four or five times where I’ve actually belly-laughed when reading a post - and all of those occasions occurred when reading his posts.
And on top of that, he’s deceptively smart. Second up would have to be Rancid, Matt Tudor – he’s the guy who created and published PGi back in the day, he’s been a close friend of mine and has stayed loyal even when I didn’t deserve it. And once again, he’s another seriously smart guy.
I’m gonna cheat a little here because the next two are members but they’re also moderators but more importantly, they are friends of mine.
Dusty, Jim, is one of those guys who’s that curious mix of being a trained fighter and is undoubtedly intelligent. We could pass our time in the house sparring and talking crap.
I’d also definitely be taking Jay, Buddha3 – he’s built like a brick sh!t-house with a bottomless pit of knowledge ranging many different subjects.
He used to play American Football in the US and over here in Europe and settled back down in his home country of Holland and now lives in Amsterdam.
We’d make Jay the boss of the house to maintain order
For my last selection it would have to be RebelTackleberry, Mick.
He has similar interests to me in Quantum Mechanics and so if I started to get bored in the house, I’d find Mick and start talking **** ….Mind you, I think Adam, Bolter, is also interested in matters of science and so he can be my substitute housemate.
23) You have the chance of dinner with any 3 people, living or dead, who and why?
That’s easy, Richard Feynman, one of the greatest ever physicists - he died in 1988 and was one of the brightest minds that’s ever graced planet earth - his work on Quantum Mechanics opened up the doors for many other physicists who were struggling to come to terms with what QM was suggesting – I've seen every one of his Youtube tutorials far too many times and one of his greatest talents was being able to teach in such a unique fashion – a genius !!
Next would be Roberto Duran, he’s a legend in boxing and his nick name was ‘Hands of Stone’ .. appropriately named I think.
Someone once suggested, ‘it’s not how hard you can hit but it’s how hard you can be hit and carry on’ …. Nobody could have exampled that observation greater than Roberto Duran … he had the heart of a lion and the ferocity of a tiger with a number of his fights immersed in pure savagery, you just gotta respect that mind-set …
Thirdly would be Galileo, the Italian genius who was born in 1564 and died in 1642.The guy was aeons ahead of anyone at that time and I’d love to sit down and tell him about the 21st century and how many of his visions came to be ….
His work in Astronomy, Physics and Mathematics wasinspired and unparalleled for that era.
24) What is your favourite film and song?
That’s too difficult to select one of each I’m afraid – I’ll do the next best thing and select the ones I think are my best …
My best films would be, Inception, Lord of the Rings [Return of the King], Tombstone with Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer, and lastly it would have to be Once upon a time in the West with Charles Bronson and Henry Fonda.
My two substitute films would have to be Jason and the Argonauts and the Magnificent Seven, all classics !!!
I can watch those films over and over again and never get bored … that’s my criterion for selecting my best films anyhows.
As for Songs??
Holy Cow, soooo many titles …. I want you Back by Jackson 5, All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix, Love the one You’re With by Steven Stills.
Na nana nah, Kiss Him Goodbye by Steam and pretty much any song from the Tamla Motown stable of singers such as Marvin Gaye, Four Tops, Temptations and so on ….
25) Tell us one interesting and one boring fact about yourself?
Erm, I don’t think I’m boring coz I always seem to get into too much crap but I suppose my choice of reading is boring because I only ever read science books, never fiction.
As for something interesting?
That’s kinda hard to come up with something but I help run a boxing club twice a week, I give lectures on physics about once every six weeks to the Probus Club, it’s a national association of retired ex-professionals that my dad belongs to - I've also started to do lectures for the Round Table.
I apologise if it sounds a bit pretentious but it’s one of the only few interesting things I can think of.
26) If you could give one bit of advice to people, what would it be?
It would be the same advice my dad gave to me that’s on my sig on p8ntballer.com, ‘You can deal with as$holes, you can deal with criminals and bigots, and you can even deal with terrorists …. but you can’t deal with an idiot’ …..
27) You’re invisible for a day, what do you get up to?
That’s easy - first, I’d find Jeremy Kyle and begin injuring him…
Secondly, when I’d finished with Kyle,I’d find Gordon Ramsay and start injuring him also.
Thirdly, I would then jump on a plane, locate Tom Cruise and batter the cr@p out of that Hollywood dwarf – that would be a good day’s work
I think I might have some unresolved issues from my past …
28) If you could be any celebrity for a day, who would it be?
I don’t like celebrities really but if pressed me to choose someone then I’d probably have to go for a guy called Ed Witten, I realise most will have never heard of him but he is a celebrity in the world of Physics – my apologies for keep boring you with my constant references to science but it’s one of my few interests in life along with boxing, football and paintball.
Ed Witten is probably the brightest living individual in the world.
He came up with a stunning mathematical explanation that proved the existing five different versions of String Theory were in fact, five faces of the same thing, he called it M Theory.
If I could live in his head for a day it would be fuhkin brilliant.
Mind you, he ain’t the best looking of people, in fact, he's a bit of a moose-face and so I’d be quite relieved to get back to being me.
29) What’s your most embarrassing moment?
That’s easy – I was 18 and going to Brixton College and during gym time, I thought I’d show off in front of a row of girls all sitting on a form bench to the side of a trampoline.
I tried to give it the Billy Big Bollocks with a somersault but I fuhk’d it right up and ended up shooting off the trampoline onto my stomach, sliding across the floor in front of the girls … what a prihk :/
30) What is your proudest or most memorable moment in life?
That’s the easiest question so far, being a granddad to my grandkids, nothing comes close !!
31) What is your worst habit?
Laying on my sofa ….
32) Name your best paintballing experience?
Easy peasy, winning the World Cup as a pro playertwice - it’d have to be the first win that was my best moment I suppose– to be playing in the US and competing in the sport you love with Aftershock and winning the ultimate title in professional paintball against all the best pro teams in the world was a dream come true for me.
No other sporting experience comes close to that feeling when the final whistle bought an end to the final game …
One thing that really pi$ses me off though - I don't like people telling others they've won something when they ain't.
I've seen it a few times where I've read that someone writes/declares they've won the world cup or whatever when they know damned well they ain't, the problem is, most players now don't know who won what and so people can get away with all sorts of BS.
...... but I know who they are and I know what they ain't won..... it's actually disrespectful to those who did actually win it .. it devalues the achievement if someone pretends they've won something they ain't.
[/rantover]
33) What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?
Reasonably easy …… many moons ago I was working as a doorman at a club with some friends of mine and on one particular evening, a group of guys who’d been thrown out the club the previous week came back .......... with reinforcements.
We knew they were coming, and looking back, waiting for them to arrive was by far the worst part … once it kicked off, circumstances took care of themselves but thankfully, none of us were badly harmed in any way. I think it safe to say we earned our money that night :/
34) You’re on death row, what’s your last meal?
Easy, either my mum’s stew or pie-mash from Arments in the Elephant and Castle.
35) First thing you’d do if you won the lotto?
Hire a hit man ….
36) Tell us a joke?
Q. Why did Werner Heisenberg hate driving so much?
A. Because, every time he looked at the speedometer, he got lost …
I think maybe Mick [RebelTackleberry] might raise a smile at that one but not many others, sorry
37) What’s your porn star name? [name of your first pet and mother’s maiden name]
Bengo Lee
1) Name?
Pete ‘Robbo’ Robinson
2) Age?
I’m waaay too old to be answering a question like that, the only clue I will offer up is that my birth certificate was written on papyrus.
3) Where do you live?
South-East London, Kent borders.
4) What do you shoot?
I’ve retired from playing a long time ago but I spent most of my pro career playing with an Automag …. It was a marker that turned out to be a monster for the guy who designed, manufactured and sold it - his name is Tom Kaye – the reason I described it as being Tom’s monster was because he tried to make other guns after the Automag but could never better it …
It was almost a perfect marker not least because it possessed so few moving parts, genius !!!
5) Occupation?
Part-time layabout, part-time tutor and full-time owner of this forum.
6) When/how did you get into paintball?
I first went with my brother in 87 and then the following week with a couple of guys from my old boxing club …. Those two visits cemented my addiction for our sport.
7) What was your first marker?
A Splatmaster – it was a plastic ten-shot heap of crap that could shoot about 50 feet with a tail-wind. I’m not saying it was inaccurate but you’d have more chance of hitting your target using a catapult firing a banana –still, it was unadulterated fun.
8) How often do you use p8ntballer?
Well, it depends really !!
I’ll pop in most days to have a nose around but sometimes I’ll get my inbox bombed with an email from Dusty saying something like, ‘Pete, are you near your laptop, get on-line quick, you’ll never believe what’s happened’.
And so, on those occasions, I’ll be on p8ntballer about twenty times a day ….
9) What first brought you to P8ntballer.com?
As most of you will already know, I used to work for one of paintball’s greatest magazines as one of itseditors, PGi.
When the internet came along in the 90s, the magazine sought to create an on-line presence and that was this forum.
All of us who were working on the magazine at the time were made moderators for obvious reasons.
And so, to answer the question, working on PGi brought me to P8ntballer.com
10) What keeps you here?
Actually, that’s a good question because sometimes I’m not really sure.
Obviously, my first reason would be that I have bills to pay - going on from that, it’s pretty hard to disentangle myself from paintball even though I’m not on the front line of our sport as a player or team coach anymore.
One of the up-lifting things about p8ntballer is the way our community has handled some tragic events over the years where players have passed away, or their partners have.
Our p8ntballer.com community has shown its true colours when events like those just mentioned have befallen us … we’ve held several appeals that have raised a lot of money for some of our members and provides us all with a new perspective on our sport and how we all perceive it.
We’re a special community … leastwise I think we are.
11) Have you met many people from this forum?
Oh my, loads of people – a lot of the guys are friends of mine anyways but it’s always nice when someone comes up and says’ Hi Robbo, I’m ‘such and such’ from the forum’ which puts a face to their forum name and avatar … I also prepare to duck quickly just in case I’ve pissed them off sometime …. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened but you never know
12) What is your dream gun set-up?
I know the modern markers are technically superior and fire a gazillion balls a second but essentially, you got a gun in your hand, you aim the damn thing and you pull the trigger … if you’re good, it hits what you aimed at … and with that in mind, I’d use an Automag with one of those new fandangled loaders you have now ….
13) What is the worst gun you’ve ever owned?
It was called, appropriately enough, The Nightmare, it couldn’t have had a more fitting name.
14) What’s your favourite thread or post?
There have been hundreds and hundreds of threads to choose from in the last 15 years or so but contrary to what some people might suggest, I don’t favour the posts/threads when it all kicks off though I do acknowledge they tend to be the most popular.
News sells, bad news sells even more …
I suppose if pressed to choose one then it would have to be the thread entitled, ‘The Rise and Fool of UK Paintball’ within the host thread, ‘The History of UK Paintball’….
And for that, I have to thank Dusty and Buddha3 because they persuaded/encouraged me to write it.
It’s an extremely personal account and maybe some people would have preferred to have a broader perspective of our history and it was this point where Dusty and Buddha encouraged me to focus upon my personal experience as against a more general account. For good or bad, it’s been up a long time and provoked thousands of views which I suppose is the acid test for anything posted up here.
As an aside to that, the thread that was supposed to be my final chapter of The History of UK paintball was entitled, ‘Opus FinaleA Warts an' all Exposé of Paintball's Very Own Megalomaniac’.
That thread broke new ground in terms of forum traffic.
Whatever people might think about the subject of that thread, it attracted the largest viewer figures I’ve ever seen in our sport.
It now sits at over 411,000 views displayed in the views’ column of the thread’s title after 18 months or so - It’s rewritten what paintball forums can generate in terms of interest/traffic , un ‘frikkin’ believable, leastwise to me, it was.This thread will get the nod from me because regardless of how anyone felt about the thread’s subject, nobody could deny those viewing figures and so from my point of view, it was very important for players and our industry to see p8ntballer.com as by far the biggest paintball forum in Europe.
I don’t think that any other thread in the world [inc PbNation] has generated anywhere near the traffic of ‘Opus Finale ….’
I’m not sure the thread’s success was because people like seeing the occasional train wreck, or people wanting to see some form of justice levied, or maybe some were just out and out curious – whatever the reason, I’m grateful it was our forum that hosted the drama and was able to crunch those sort of numbers.
15) If P8ntballer.com was yours for a day, what would you change?
Er,. I already own it, and so if I ever want to change anything then I just go to my mods and ask for their opinions on what’s best to do in terms of improving the site.
16) Explain your Nickname?
Robbo has been my nickname since I’ve been involved in paintball but it became synonymous when I started writing for the magazine, PGi in 1990 and so I was known as ‘Robbo’ more for editorial purposes I suppose.
17) Tourney, magfed, or woods/scenario ?
It’d have to be tourney I’m afraid – playing paintball in the woods as a rec player is a game, playing tournaments is a sport.
18) Who are your favourite mods?
Jeepers, what am I supposed to say here?
I like all of my mods, I know some of them a lot more than others but if they weren’t good guys, they wouldn’t be mods on this forum.
If you press me to choose then it’d have to be Dusty, Buddha and Bon because those are the guys I turn to for advice or help, I trust them and their counsel, 100% …
19) Who would be your dream karaoke partner and what is the song?
I think I’d have to select barnett because the song would drown out his screams as I punched his face in … as for the song title?
Erm….. it’d have to be a loud track and so FreeBird by Lynyrd Skynyrd would definitely drown out those screams.
20) You’re in the final of Who wants to be a millionaire’, who on P8ntballer is your phone a friend?
Definitely Jay, Buddha3, that man knows fuhkin shed-loads ..
21) Take this opportunity to clear up one misconception about yourself?
I don’t eat babies …
22) You’ve been asked into the Big Brother House and you can take five forum members, who and why?
Hmmn, that’s a difficult one …… er … Missy Q because he’s one of a few people on P8ntballer who makes me laugh – in all of the fifteen years or so this forum has been going, I can only really remember about four or five times where I’ve actually belly-laughed when reading a post - and all of those occasions occurred when reading his posts.
And on top of that, he’s deceptively smart. Second up would have to be Rancid, Matt Tudor – he’s the guy who created and published PGi back in the day, he’s been a close friend of mine and has stayed loyal even when I didn’t deserve it. And once again, he’s another seriously smart guy.
I’m gonna cheat a little here because the next two are members but they’re also moderators but more importantly, they are friends of mine.
Dusty, Jim, is one of those guys who’s that curious mix of being a trained fighter and is undoubtedly intelligent. We could pass our time in the house sparring and talking crap.
I’d also definitely be taking Jay, Buddha3 – he’s built like a brick sh!t-house with a bottomless pit of knowledge ranging many different subjects.
He used to play American Football in the US and over here in Europe and settled back down in his home country of Holland and now lives in Amsterdam.
We’d make Jay the boss of the house to maintain order
For my last selection it would have to be RebelTackleberry, Mick.
He has similar interests to me in Quantum Mechanics and so if I started to get bored in the house, I’d find Mick and start talking **** ….Mind you, I think Adam, Bolter, is also interested in matters of science and so he can be my substitute housemate.
23) You have the chance of dinner with any 3 people, living or dead, who and why?
That’s easy, Richard Feynman, one of the greatest ever physicists - he died in 1988 and was one of the brightest minds that’s ever graced planet earth - his work on Quantum Mechanics opened up the doors for many other physicists who were struggling to come to terms with what QM was suggesting – I've seen every one of his Youtube tutorials far too many times and one of his greatest talents was being able to teach in such a unique fashion – a genius !!
Next would be Roberto Duran, he’s a legend in boxing and his nick name was ‘Hands of Stone’ .. appropriately named I think.
Someone once suggested, ‘it’s not how hard you can hit but it’s how hard you can be hit and carry on’ …. Nobody could have exampled that observation greater than Roberto Duran … he had the heart of a lion and the ferocity of a tiger with a number of his fights immersed in pure savagery, you just gotta respect that mind-set …
Thirdly would be Galileo, the Italian genius who was born in 1564 and died in 1642.The guy was aeons ahead of anyone at that time and I’d love to sit down and tell him about the 21st century and how many of his visions came to be ….
His work in Astronomy, Physics and Mathematics wasinspired and unparalleled for that era.
24) What is your favourite film and song?
That’s too difficult to select one of each I’m afraid – I’ll do the next best thing and select the ones I think are my best …
My best films would be, Inception, Lord of the Rings [Return of the King], Tombstone with Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer, and lastly it would have to be Once upon a time in the West with Charles Bronson and Henry Fonda.
My two substitute films would have to be Jason and the Argonauts and the Magnificent Seven, all classics !!!
I can watch those films over and over again and never get bored … that’s my criterion for selecting my best films anyhows.
As for Songs??
Holy Cow, soooo many titles …. I want you Back by Jackson 5, All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix, Love the one You’re With by Steven Stills.
Na nana nah, Kiss Him Goodbye by Steam and pretty much any song from the Tamla Motown stable of singers such as Marvin Gaye, Four Tops, Temptations and so on ….
25) Tell us one interesting and one boring fact about yourself?
Erm, I don’t think I’m boring coz I always seem to get into too much crap but I suppose my choice of reading is boring because I only ever read science books, never fiction.
As for something interesting?
That’s kinda hard to come up with something but I help run a boxing club twice a week, I give lectures on physics about once every six weeks to the Probus Club, it’s a national association of retired ex-professionals that my dad belongs to - I've also started to do lectures for the Round Table.
I apologise if it sounds a bit pretentious but it’s one of the only few interesting things I can think of.
26) If you could give one bit of advice to people, what would it be?
It would be the same advice my dad gave to me that’s on my sig on p8ntballer.com, ‘You can deal with as$holes, you can deal with criminals and bigots, and you can even deal with terrorists …. but you can’t deal with an idiot’ …..
27) You’re invisible for a day, what do you get up to?
That’s easy - first, I’d find Jeremy Kyle and begin injuring him…
Secondly, when I’d finished with Kyle,I’d find Gordon Ramsay and start injuring him also.
Thirdly, I would then jump on a plane, locate Tom Cruise and batter the cr@p out of that Hollywood dwarf – that would be a good day’s work
I think I might have some unresolved issues from my past …
28) If you could be any celebrity for a day, who would it be?
I don’t like celebrities really but if pressed me to choose someone then I’d probably have to go for a guy called Ed Witten, I realise most will have never heard of him but he is a celebrity in the world of Physics – my apologies for keep boring you with my constant references to science but it’s one of my few interests in life along with boxing, football and paintball.
Ed Witten is probably the brightest living individual in the world.
He came up with a stunning mathematical explanation that proved the existing five different versions of String Theory were in fact, five faces of the same thing, he called it M Theory.
If I could live in his head for a day it would be fuhkin brilliant.
Mind you, he ain’t the best looking of people, in fact, he's a bit of a moose-face and so I’d be quite relieved to get back to being me.
29) What’s your most embarrassing moment?
That’s easy – I was 18 and going to Brixton College and during gym time, I thought I’d show off in front of a row of girls all sitting on a form bench to the side of a trampoline.
I tried to give it the Billy Big Bollocks with a somersault but I fuhk’d it right up and ended up shooting off the trampoline onto my stomach, sliding across the floor in front of the girls … what a prihk :/
30) What is your proudest or most memorable moment in life?
That’s the easiest question so far, being a granddad to my grandkids, nothing comes close !!
31) What is your worst habit?
Laying on my sofa ….
32) Name your best paintballing experience?
Easy peasy, winning the World Cup as a pro playertwice - it’d have to be the first win that was my best moment I suppose– to be playing in the US and competing in the sport you love with Aftershock and winning the ultimate title in professional paintball against all the best pro teams in the world was a dream come true for me.
No other sporting experience comes close to that feeling when the final whistle bought an end to the final game …
One thing that really pi$ses me off though - I don't like people telling others they've won something when they ain't.
I've seen it a few times where I've read that someone writes/declares they've won the world cup or whatever when they know damned well they ain't, the problem is, most players now don't know who won what and so people can get away with all sorts of BS.
...... but I know who they are and I know what they ain't won..... it's actually disrespectful to those who did actually win it .. it devalues the achievement if someone pretends they've won something they ain't.
[/rantover]
33) What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?
Reasonably easy …… many moons ago I was working as a doorman at a club with some friends of mine and on one particular evening, a group of guys who’d been thrown out the club the previous week came back .......... with reinforcements.
We knew they were coming, and looking back, waiting for them to arrive was by far the worst part … once it kicked off, circumstances took care of themselves but thankfully, none of us were badly harmed in any way. I think it safe to say we earned our money that night :/
34) You’re on death row, what’s your last meal?
Easy, either my mum’s stew or pie-mash from Arments in the Elephant and Castle.
35) First thing you’d do if you won the lotto?
Hire a hit man ….
36) Tell us a joke?
Q. Why did Werner Heisenberg hate driving so much?
A. Because, every time he looked at the speedometer, he got lost …
I think maybe Mick [RebelTackleberry] might raise a smile at that one but not many others, sorry
37) What’s your porn star name? [name of your first pet and mother’s maiden name]
Bengo Lee
