Planet Eclipse Manic Paintball G.I Milsim Tipmann BZ Paintball DYE Paintball Valken Paintball

Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'Speak your Brains' started by Missy-Q, Jun 20, 2016.

  1. Missy-Q 300lb of Chocolate Love

    Missy-Q
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    A Scotsman walks into a pub.
    Usually there's an Englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman with him but they're
    all in France for the Euros.
     
    Spikerz likes this.
  2. Hansel So Hot Right Now.

    Hansel
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    Did you hear about the Polish fans at the Euros? They went crazy!

    They washed & valeted 800 cars, fitted 300 kitchens and pointed 30 walls. Badly.
     
  3. Missy-Q 300lb of Chocolate Love

    Missy-Q
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    Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.

    If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...

    ... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.
     
    keeper, Dusty and niloc65 like this.
  4. Hansel So Hot Right Now.

    Hansel
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    Dear Missy

    I am married to a beautiful girl named Laura, but I think she may be having an affair with one of the refs at the paintball site we both go to.

    I'd be devastated if she left me for him, as I'm quite repulsive and would find it hard to find another girl like her.

    We were playing at the site at the weekend and I saw she was flirting with him.

    I made an excuse that I had to go to the car park to get something out the car, but I hid behind one of the buildings in the safe zone so I could listen in to what they were saying.

    As I was hiding, I saw him kiss her. I also noticed a slight leak coming from the macroline of my Dynasty Edition Geo 3.

    So my question is - do you think the leak is something I could fix myself or should I send it into Planet?
     
    niloc65 and mikey1975 like this.
  5. Missy-Q 300lb of Chocolate Love

    Missy-Q
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    hey Scotland!
    The rest of us will be in France for another coupe of weeks.
    Can you put our bins out please?
     
  6. Dskize bigmutharvatar

    Dskize
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  7. Missy-Q 300lb of Chocolate Love

    Missy-Q
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  8. Magic Rat Swansea Draguns

    Magic Rat
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    Pistorious looked a bit shaky when the judge gave the verdict, a spare beer mat soon sorted him out.
     
    Missy-Q likes this.
  9. onasilverbike I'm a country member!

    onasilverbike
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    A Roman walks in to a bar
    He holds up two fingers
    And orders five pints
     
    keeper, shoaibaktar and Spikerz like this.
  10. Hansel So Hot Right Now.

    Hansel
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    David Cameron: "I do believe that today, our country is much stronger".
     

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