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Joke of the Day

Missy-Q

300lb of Chocolate Love
Jul 31, 2007
2,527
1,132
198
Harlem, NY
A Scotsman walks into a pub.
Usually there's an Englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman with him but they're
all in France for the Euros.
 
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Tony Harrison

What is your beef with the Mac?
Mar 13, 2007
6,518
1,874
238
Did you hear about the Polish fans at the Euros? They went crazy!

They washed & valeted 800 cars, fitted 300 kitchens and pointed 30 walls. Badly.
 

Missy-Q

300lb of Chocolate Love
Jul 31, 2007
2,527
1,132
198
Harlem, NY
Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.

If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...

... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.
 

Tony Harrison

What is your beef with the Mac?
Mar 13, 2007
6,518
1,874
238
Dear Missy

I am married to a beautiful girl named Laura, but I think she may be having an affair with one of the refs at the paintball site we both go to.

I'd be devastated if she left me for him, as I'm quite repulsive and would find it hard to find another girl like her.

We were playing at the site at the weekend and I saw she was flirting with him.

I made an excuse that I had to go to the car park to get something out the car, but I hid behind one of the buildings in the safe zone so I could listen in to what they were saying.

As I was hiding, I saw him kiss her. I also noticed a slight leak coming from the macroline of my Dynasty Edition Geo 3.

So my question is - do you think the leak is something I could fix myself or should I send it into Planet?
 

Missy-Q

300lb of Chocolate Love
Jul 31, 2007
2,527
1,132
198
Harlem, NY
hey Scotland!
The rest of us will be in France for another coupe of weeks.
Can you put our bins out please?