Welcome To P8ntballer.com
The Home Of European Paintball
Sign Up & Join In

Toulouse - A real story !!!

UKRedskin2001

New Member
Jul 19, 2001
57
0
0
The Bog
www.uk-redskins.com
A young businessman had just started his own firm.
He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with
antiques.

He spotted a man coming into the outer office.
Wishing to appear the hot shot, the new businessman picked up the phone
and
started to pretend he had a big deal working, flinging papers around
and talking big.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, ''And what can I do for
you?''

To which the visitor replied:
''Not much, I've come to activate your phone lines.''
 

UKRedskin2001

New Member
Jul 19, 2001
57
0
0
The Bog
www.uk-redskins.com
Library FAQ(just no answers)


"Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"

"I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost
$39.95.
Do you know which one it is?"

"Can you tell me why so many famous American Civil War battles were fought on
National Park Sites?"


"Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"


"I'm looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome.
I think I'm having trouble with it in my neck."


"I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me
back to jail for a couple of months."


"I need a color photograph of George Washington."

"Is the basement upstairs?"
 

UKRedskin2001

New Member
Jul 19, 2001
57
0
0
The Bog
www.uk-redskins.com
Learning the alphabet - Mom style...

A - Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now
growing in the middle.
B - BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except
Mom to be self-cleaning.
C - COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
D - DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying
about the kids in a different setting.
E - EMPTY NEST: See "WISHFUL THINKING."
F - FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
G - GUM: Adhesive for the hair.
H - HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.
I - INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
J - JUNK: Dad's stuff.
K - KISS: Mom's medicine.
L - LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys
powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups,
and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there
for three to six minutes and next a profit of 15 cents.
M - MAYBE: No.
N - Nail Polish: part of an assortment of make-up items such as
lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically
make Mom look better while making her young daughter look "like a
tramp."
O - OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom's nickname for Dad.
P - PANIC: What a mother goes through when the darn wind-up swing
stops.
Q - QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth
of the first child and
occurs again after the last child has left for college.
R - REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the
kitchen.
S - SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes
with Grandma.
T - TOWELS: See "FLOOR COVERINGS".
U - UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures
the wearer will never have an accident.
V - VACATION: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only
to find it there, too.
W - WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every
room.
X - XOXOXOXOXO: Mom salutation guaranteed to make the already
embarrassing note in a kid's lunch box even more mortifying.
Y - "YIPPEE!": What mother's shout the first day of school.
Z - ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed
before kids refuse to eat it.