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Robbo

Owner of this website
Jul 5, 2001
13,114
2,157
448
London
www.p8ntballer.com
After reading innumerable threads and posts for the past four or five years on this site I have come to the conclusion we got certain classes of poster.
I suppose each and every forum has this classification emerging but it kinda amuses me to identify these different types and so here they are :-

The 'Classified' Poster

This type can be broken down to two main sub-groups, the first is the Pathological buyer and seller, this is a guy who was genetically engineered to buy and sell, it's not as if he even wants the stuff he purchases, or even wants to get rid of the stuff he sells, he just has to do the deals.
This guy is ill, it's the equivalent of a mix between an OCD disorder and anorexia.
An anorexic will look in the mirror and always see somebody fat, this type poster looks in his kit bag and sees it empty and the next, sees it too full meaning he just has to buy and sell to validate his life as a baller.

The second class in this group is the 'Window shopper', this is the guy who just can't get his ass outa the classifieds, he just has to see what people are buying and selling ... it's paintball's version of the two old girls down the road who talk for hours across the garden fence.
These guys are the busybody's of the paintball world and are not so much concerned with the 'tittle tattle' of paintball gossip but with the ebb and flow of paintball equipment within our community.
These guys are even sadder *******s than the aforementioned group because they don't actually buy or sell anything, they are but voyeurs to paintball's baseline commerce, frikkin' pervs :)


The next category is the 'Post Count Junkie', this is the guy who seems to think that if he can ratchet up the number of posts he has attributed to his member name, he thinks other members will see him as a successful and respected member of our site.
In this case, quantity is definitely not a validation.
He will post any inane comment that comes to mind on multiple threads in the vain belief the rising post count number will add inches to his paintball willy.
It doesn’t I’m afraid and people just look at this sorta poster as they do the guy who drives down the high street in his 500 quid motor with a 600 quid sound system blurting out the bass like a frikkin multiple explosion….sad, sad ******* !

The Intellectual
This is a guy who oozes polysyllabic wordage and can dismember the unwary like a butcher slices apart the meat on his slab.
He will generally converse with his peer group, indulging in his literary skills and knowledge of our sport occasionally glancing sideways to see if anybody outside of his peers needs enlightening or in this case, bludgeoning to death.
He likes to think of himself as superior but the reality is, he's a bit like the guy who goes to a football match wearing a three piece suit and tie, he just looks a pillock and is a tad overdressed.

The next poster is the Pseudo-intellectual, this is the guy who sees some of the big-hitters of this site strut their literary stuff and wishes to be part of that club, he uses words he doesn't really know the right meaning of, and grammar that resembles that of a foreign English student.
The points he makes are often inappropriate and they remind me of players who turn up to play at a tourney with a Halo on top of a Splatmaster.
He thinks of himself as a paintball expert and a leader among men and has never really accomplished much in life and this is his one chance to make it big.
One slight problem, he keeps turning up to a metaphorical gun-fight with a stick of celery and seems oblivious to how others view him.
On the sad scale he is pushing the number 8...

The Tech-head Poster
Thank heaven for these guys because although they may not be able to cut it on the field of play, they strut their stuff on these pages, if it weren’t for these nerds, we would all be up sh!t street.
They are a positive mountainous reservoir of information, both useful and not.
They might have the social skills of the nerdiest of nerds but hey, you gotta luv these guys.

The Wannabee

Here is a baller who just can't seem to make it in the sport and so sees the forums as an opportunity to make his mark. He sets himself up (and probably believes) he is some sort of paintball expert and acts out this perceived pre-eminence within our midst.
His knowledge of paintball is as deep as a puddle and as wide as a human hair.
His posts are as numerous as they are devoid of any real message.
To the noob these guys may seem to know what they are talking about and seem as tho they have some standing in our sport but to the average baller, we call all see the truth.
These boards are where they try to make their mark and unfortunately for them, and because they wanna be noticed and respected sooo bad, it sticks out like a turban at a National Front meeting.
Anyway, enough about Miley601 :))) - we can now move on to the next category which is...

The 'Cool' Poster

This is the guy who doesn't really say that much but when they do, it's generally to the point, witty and meaningful.
These sorta posts are best exampled by people like Mario, Jose Dominguez and Matski, they sit on the outside looking in and when motivated, out pops a post that is both timely and relevant.


The Female poster

Well, apart from Gups's lone and ongoing defence of Delta Force, Freddie Brockdorff's refreshing take on Euroball, Liz's occasional historical insights and Rosie (who's unfortunately gone a bit quiet of late since going to uni), this site doesn't get enough females contributing.
It obviously has something to do with the relative number of females within our sport but I think we would all do better to see a lot more of them post.
Lord knows what they'll talk about coz I'm not sure I wanna know about cooking, shopping for shoes or cleaning but I think we should give them a chance.... :)....I'll start running now...sorry couldn't resist it :):)

The Moderator Poster
Well, these are the gods of the forum and whatever they say goes, you might not always agree with them but for the most part, they know what they are talking about and are generally well respected.

The Supermoderator Poster
Well, that's me and what can I say that hasn't already been said by other geniuses ....not a lot and so I will leave any self congratulations or credits where they belong .... in my misguided and muddled head :)
 

Nizzie

Beef, chicken or hot dog!
Sep 6, 2006
103
0
0
The Female poster

Well, apart from Gups's lone and ongoing defence of Delta Force, Freddie Brockdorff's refreshing take on Euroball, Liz's occasional historical insights and Rosie (who's unfortunately gone a bit quiet of late since going to uni), this site doesn't get enough females contributing.
It obviously has something to do with the relative number of females within our sport but I think we would all do better to see a lot more of them post.
Lord knows what they'll talk about coz I'm not sure I wanna know about cooking, shopping for shoes or cleaning but I think we should give them a chance.... :)....I'll start running now...sorry couldn't resist it :):)
MMMM, well I could tell you all about cooking xxx amount of burger lunches at a rec-ball site and recommend a decent pair of shoes that grip woodland scenarios but as you are running I think you know all about shoe shopping :p
 

Robbo

Owner of this website
Jul 5, 2001
13,114
2,157
448
London
www.p8ntballer.com
MMMM, well I could tell you all about cooking xxx amount of burger lunches at a rec-ball site and recommend a decent pair of shoes that grip woodland scenarios but as you are running I think you know all about shoe shopping :p

Well, if indeed you are female, then I'm glad to see you have fulfilled your genetic destiny and decided that cooking lunches for menfolk is the way to go in paintball.
Ain't that right Freddie, Liz and Rosie?

:)
 

Nizzie

Beef, chicken or hot dog!
Sep 6, 2006
103
0
0
Well, if indeed you are female, then I'm glad to see you have fulfilled your genetic destiny and decided that cooking lunches for menfolk is the way to go in paintball.
Ain't that right Freddie, Liz and Rosie?

:)
LOL, thats why I got married in white so I matched the kitchen appliances!!!! Of course, I must keep the hunter gathers well fed!!! :D
 

Lemon

Baller without a willy ;)
Feb 17, 2006
549
28
53
53
Bradford
www.get-cash-back.co.uk
LOL, like that Pete :D

I think you have Mikey in the wrong category though, I think he belongs in the 'Post Count Junkie' section :p

Lump's couldn't be more obvious :rolleyes: but if we had 2 computers you would hear much more from me... I never get the chance to get on here!! Luckily I was able to read this post over his shoulder and jump on here while he popped to the loo, lol. Other than that, I have to get up in the middle of the night while he's asleep or skive off work early and beat him too it ;)

As for content of post on this wonderful sport, I hope I proved I should be aloud out of the kitchen occasionally (not that I know where the kitchen is :confused: ) to join in and hand a few mens asses to them :p ;)