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THE MAN RULES

Jlowe

Here let me wipe my balls off your face.
Jul 10, 2011
86
16
28
28
Staffordshire
Before you read on im sorry if this is in the wrong place in the forum or shouldnt be here at all but it made me laugh to myself about how true it is :p


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side


Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOTneed directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched...
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 

PreacherMan

Like a moth to the flame
Nov 2, 2006
429
38
38
Midlands
Lots of good observations of the female species.(y)

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


I know just offer one option 'do it yourself.'
 

Jlowe

Here let me wipe my balls off your face.
Jul 10, 2011
86
16
28
28
Staffordshire
This is also true but i fear you would be sleeping on the couch for wording it like that but the doorstep ;)
 

Jlowe

Here let me wipe my balls off your face.
Jul 10, 2011
86
16
28
28
Staffordshire
Man, this is brilliant! And old lol, think I had this email 10 years ago! :) Good to read it again, it is SO true!
i know ive gotten into trouble with my girlfriends a few times for acting like nothings wrong because they said so :/
 

Jlowe

Here let me wipe my balls off your face.
Jul 10, 2011
86
16
28
28
Staffordshire
You might be onto something there start up our own MANLY religion and then we can create our own wedding ceremonies which implement these rules xD hey if people can have an official jedi wedding why can't we throw a couple of reasonable demands on the end ;)